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Surviving and Thriving

Throughout 2022, The Graduate School’s Diversity and Student Success program hosted several pop-up exhibits in departments and units to explore anonymous stories from graduate students of color through interactive storyboards. Now the pop-up exhibit is available in a digital format.

We invite you to share your comments, ideas and feelings using the links to Padlet, an interactive and anonymous sharing platform. We hope to gather information and ideas in order to learn and strategize for student success and wellbeing.

Thriving #1

"Knowing that I would face many challenges returning to school, I took advantage of various resources through Diversity and Student Success, The Learning Center, and Counseling and Psychological Services. The resources were valuable, both as practical resources, and [as] ways to connect with others. I even took improv classes and embraced being vulnerable, something I had avoided in the past."
“I would like to acknowledge that the faculty in my program have been very supportive and understanding of my work/life balance. I am very grateful for this as it has been a challenge having a daughter with special needs.”
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Surviving #2

"As I was sitting in the first-year office with my white cohort, I saw on Facebook that the officer who killed Michael Brown would not be charged, and it hit me so hard. I felt like my ears were ringing as all my cohort members were casually talking around me. I felt so alone and like I had no one to talk to about the hurt I felt about yet another racial injustice. In the past, I could turn to my community and grieve and contribute to some form of healing. But here I had no one. I went to a bathroom on another floor, and I just sobbed in the stall. And I questioned why I was even in graduate school so far from my community. It felt like I wasn’t doing anyone any good by being in such a white space. I went home that winter break and seriously contemplated quitting."
“As I was sitting in the first-year office with my white cohort, I saw on Facebook that the officer who killed Michael Brown would not be charged, and it hit me so hard.

I felt like my ears were ringing as all my cohort members were casually talking around me. I felt so alone and like I had no one to talk to about the hurt I felt about yet another racial injustice.

In the past, I could turn to my community and grieve and contribute to some form of healing. But here I had no one. I went to a bathroom on another floor, and I just sobbed in the stall. And I questioned why I was even in graduate school so far from my community.

It felt like I wasn’t doing anyone any good by being in such a white space. I went home that winter break and seriously contemplated quitting.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #3

"Knowing that I would face many challenges returning to school, I took advantage of various resources through Diversity and Student Success, The Learning Center, and Counseling and Psychological Services. The resources were valuable, both as practical resources, and [as] ways to connect with others. I even took improv classes and embraced being vulnerable, something I had avoided in the past."
“Knowing that I would face many challenges returning to school, I took advantage of various resources through Diversity and Student Success, The Learning Center, and Counseling and Psychological Services.

The resources were valuable, both as practical resources, and [as] ways to connect with others. I even took improv classes and embraced being vulnerable, something I had avoided in the past.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #4

"In the final review before changing advisors, I was told that maybe I should consider other options. How could I leave empty-handed after so many years out of the workforce? This was not an option, but it was what was being suggested by those who were supposed to be supporting me getting a Ph.D. Isolated, made to feel different and of less potential as an academic from the moment I entered the door, to eventually receiving the suggestion that maybe I should just go. This is my experience at UNC-Chapel Hill."
“In the final review before changing advisors, I was told that maybe I should consider other options. How could I leave empty-handed after so many years out of the workforce? This was not an option, but it was what was being suggested by those who were supposed to be supporting me getting a Ph.D.

Isolated, made to feel different and of less potential as an academic from the moment I entered the door, to eventually receiving the suggestion that maybe I should just go. This is my experience at UNC-Chapel Hill.”
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Thriving #5

"Just being known by name somewhere is important and makes me feel like the space I occupy matters."
“Just being known by name somewhere is important and makes me feel like the space I occupy matters.”
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Surviving #6

"It was through my graduate program that I felt isolation [and] experienced challenges that would impact me emotionally and mentally. I recognized that being the only person of color, male, and older student in my cohort would bring challenges. Even with the support and wisdom from the resources and people I trusted, I soon realized that it would not be enough to bring a sense of community, certainty, or safety in the classroom. I would sit for three hours in graduate seminars, feeling intense sensations in my body, holding my breath at times, fidgeting my hands and toes, feeling so isolated or not smart enough to engage in the discussions."
“It was through my graduate program that I felt isolation [and] experienced challenges that would impact me emotionally and mentally. I recognized that being the only person of color, male, and older student in my cohort would bring challenges.

Even with the support and wisdom from the resources and people I trusted, I soon realized that it would not be enough to bring a sense of community, certainty, or safety in the classroom.

I would sit for three hours in graduate seminars, feeling intense sensations in my body, holding my breath at times, fidgeting my hands and toes, feeling so isolated or not smart enough to engage in the discussions.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #7

"[The Initiative for Minority Excellence] is the only place I felt supported for many years. IME gave me a physical place to work when I was uncomfortable being physically present in my department space. IME is where I could talk about all the things that were happening with my advisor and had staff at IME not stepped into the situation, I probably would have been pushed out of this institution."
“[The Initiative for Minority Excellence] is the only place I felt supported for many years. IME gave me a physical place to work when I was uncomfortable being physically present in my department space.

IME is where I could talk about all the things that were happening with my advisor and had staff at IME not stepped into the situation, I probably would have been pushed out of this institution.”
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Thriving #8

"I have been surprised and thankful that bountiful resources exist at UNC-Chapel Hill for graduate students of all backgrounds. Diversity and Student Success and [its] initiative for Minority Excellence have been an incredible way to network with other graduate students, shared experiences, learn from others, and make friends."
“I have been surprised and thankful that bountiful resources exist at UNC-Chapel Hill for graduate students of all backgrounds. Diversity and Student Success and [its] initiative for Minority Excellence have been an incredible way to network with other graduate students, share experiences, learn from others, and make friends.”
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Surviving #9

"My view of my experience here changes by the year, semester, and week. If my experience was so bad, I would leave, so I can’t say it is entirely negative, however, I do not look at my experience with rose-colored glasses either. I have spaces that make me feel positive and others that make me feel inferior. I have protected myself from being completely vulnerable in certain spaces or have avoided certain people in order to maintain my own sanity."
“My view of my experience here changes by the year, semester, and week. If my experience was so bad, I would leave, so I can’t say it is entirely negative, however, I do not look at my experience with rose-colored glasses either.

I have spaces that make me feel positive and others that make me feel inferior. I have protected myself from being completely vulnerable in certain spaces or have avoided certain people in order to maintain my own sanity.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #10

"When I enrolled, I only had a semester and a half of traditional coursework before we migrated to a virtual format due to the pandemic. As a neurodivergent student, I have struggled greatly in this virtual setting. All of this was compounded with the heightened racial tension of the summer of 2020, [which] exacerbated my chronic depression and anxiety. My performance as a student took a significant hit, and my department’s response was to tell me that I am not self-motivated enough to handle the independent nature of the dissertation process."
“When I enrolled, I only had a semester and a half of traditional coursework before we migrated to a virtual format due to the pandemic. As a neurodivergent student, I have struggled greatly in this virtual setting. All of this was compounded with the heightened racial tension of the summer of 2020, [which] exacerbated my chronic depression and anxiety.

My performance as a student took a significant hit, and my department’s response was to tell me that I am not self-motivated enough to handle the independent nature of the dissertation process.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #11

"I have felt supported by individuals and small collectives in various places—never by the institution or any of its bureaucracies, which aren’t meant for my good and to whom my identity and perspective are unintelligible. The Initiative for Minority Excellence has been a sanctuary, along with my carefully curated dissertation committee. Cross-disciplinary gatherings of fellow graduate students have also offered solidarity and reprieve."
“I have felt supported by individuals and small collectives in various places—never by the institution or any of its bureaucracies, which aren’t meant for my good and to whom my identity and perspective are unintelligible.

The Initiative for Minority Excellence has been a sanctuary, along with my carefully curated dissertation committee. Cross-disciplinary gatherings of fellow graduate students have also offered solidarity and reprieve.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #12

"My racial experience in Chapel Hill has not been entirely clear to me as a queer Southeast Asian cis man, so it has been hard to articulate. I have lived in a few states, and I have not felt more othered than living in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. This includes being racially triangulated in ways that are perhaps particular to living in the Southeast, where there is a rich history of racial struggles between Black and white populations that continues today. The aftermath is that I feel immobilized and that I should not take up space, since I am still trying to best examine where I am racially positioned and understanding when and where I am more or less helpful."
“My racial experience in Chapel Hill has not been entirely clear to me as a queer Southeast Asian cis man, so it has been hard to articulate. I have lived in a few states, and I have not felt more othered than living in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. This includes being racially triangulated in ways that are perhaps particular to living in the Southeast, where there is a rich history of racial struggles between Black and white populations that continues today.

The aftermath is that I feel immobilized and that I should not take up space, since I am still trying to best examine where I am racially positioned and understanding when and where I am more or less helpful.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #13

"I have definitely felt supported by the Initiative for Minority Excellence. I look forward to IME events and to Writing Wednesday. I have also felt supported by graduate students and some professors in my department. I have felt supported by the Carolina Latinx Center; they’ve been a wonderful resource and important to my development as a scholar."
“I have definitely felt supported by the Initiative for Minority Excellence. I look forward to IME events and to Writing Wednesday. I have also felt supported by graduate students and some professors in my department.

I have felt supported by the Carolina Latinx Center; they’ve been a wonderful resource and important to my development as a scholar.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #14

"I remember during my first semester at UNC-Chapel Hill in my program — it was the most isolated I have ever felt. I went to undergrad in my hometown, and I was involved in so many affinity groups that I always felt surrounded by family and kinfolk. Well, the first semester, I felt like I had no one. I was one of two Black women in my program at the time and the other Black woman was an advanced grad student who was not around much. I was struggling academically, but also socially."
“I remember during my first semester at UNC-Chapel Hill in my program — it was the most isolated I have ever felt. I went to undergrad in my hometown, and I was involved in so many affinity groups that I always felt surrounded by family and kinfolk.

Well, the first semester, I felt like I had no one. I was one of two Black women in my program at the time and the other Black woman was an advanced grad student who was not around much. I was struggling academically, but also socially.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #15

"The Initiative for Minority Excellence made my experience a lot better. I felt very isolated in my department in part because it was a very culturally white space and, in part, because the workload was tremendous. Once I started to go to IME events in year three, I started to feel much better—like I fit."
“The Initiative for Minority Excellence made my experience a lot better. I felt very isolated in my department in part because it was a very culturally white space and, in part, because the workload was tremendous.

Once I started to go to IME events in year three, I started to feel much better—like I fit.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #16

"As a single parent and full-time graduate student who taught and held other assistantships simultaneously to make ends meet THE WHOLE TIME, that whole concept [of work/life balance] is a myth. I do what I can and have learned to both hold onto faith and ask for help in order to bear the load."
“As a single parent and full-time graduate student who taught and held other assistantships simultaneously to make ends meet THE WHOLE TIME, that whole concept [of work/life balance] is a myth. I do what I can and have learned to both hold onto faith and ask for help in order to bear the load.”
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Surviving #17

"My work-life balance is forced to be contained because I have a family. However, work trickles over in the sense that we are expected to do these “extras” to be a good citizen of the department. I don’t have the bandwidth, and I am judged for not being present."
“My work-life balance is forced to be contained because I have a family. However, work trickles over in the sense that we are expected to do these “extras” to be a good citizen of the department. I don’t have the bandwidth, and I am judged for not being present.”
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Thriving #18

"I have felt supported by The Graduate School and my program and department. My department helps me find funding and pushes me in ways that respect that I do not like it here — meaning that they are supportive in me leaving town and also finding funding to be able to do that and do my dissertation from abroad. The Graduate School (Diversity and Student Success program) always feels like a space I know I can lean back on when I need it. Their emails and programming let me know that work is being done and that people care, even when I cannot attend."
“I have felt supported by The Graduate School and my program and department. My department helps me find funding and pushes me in ways that respect that I do not like it here — meaning that they are supportive in me leaving town and also finding funding to be able to do that and do my dissertation from abroad.

The Graduate School (Diversity and Student Success program) always feels like a space I know I can lean back on when I need it. Their emails and programming let me know that work is being done and that people care, even when I cannot attend.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #19

"My department has done the bare minimum to provide adequate resources for students suffering with mental health. As I previously noted, they have not taken what I’ve said about my mental health struggles to mean anything more than I am simply not Ph.D. material."
“My department has done the bare minimum to provide adequate resources for students suffering with mental health. As I previously noted, they have not taken what I’ve said about my mental health struggles to mean anything more than I am simply not Ph.D. material.”
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Thriving #20

"The professors are always asking about how we are doing mentally and offering assistance if needed. If I felt the need to take some time off for a class, I would have the full support of teachers. I travel back and forth to class, and if I’m not able to make it, alternate methods of receiving instruction have been made available to me."
“The professors are always asking about how we are doing mentally and offering assistance if needed. If I felt the need to take some time off for a class, I would have the full support of teachers. I travel back and forth to class, and if I’m not able to make it, alternate methods of receiving instruction have been made available to me.”
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Surviving #21

"As a graduate student my mental health rapidly declined. Although others were aware of the state of my well-being, the demands of my program remained extensive. Additionally, the presence of my many unique needs cause much distress for the faculty in my program, intensifying the already isolating nature of my Ph.D. studies."
“As a graduate student my mental health rapidly declined. Although others were aware of the state of my well-being, the demands of my program remained extensive.

Additionally, the presence of my many unique needs cause much distress for the faculty in my program, intensifying the already isolating nature of my Ph.D. studies.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #22

"It has been a rough transition socially. I am the only Black student in my cohort and the only Black candidate in the entire program. I have very little built-in community, and those within my school community are nice, but I often feel like the only Black person in the room or in the meeting. My imposter syndrome is through the roof especially as it feels like every other class topic gets to the point where we are again pointing out the deficits in support or lack of positive outcomes for children and families of color in various fields of development."
“It has been a rough transition socially. I am the only Black student in my cohort and the only Black candidate in the entire program. I have very little built-in community, and those within my school community are nice, but I often feel like the only Black person in the room or in the meeting.

My imposter syndrome is through the roof especially as it feels like every other class topic gets to the point where we are again pointing out the deficits in support or lack of positive outcomes for children and families of color in various fields of development.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #23

"My experience thus far has been extremely positive. From the time of my enrollment, professors are always making students aware of the dangers of imposter syndrome. My program had a virtual gathering to discuss the [mental state of students within the program], and though I have never used the resource myself, Carolina is constantly making students aware of the Counseling and Psychological Services programs. So, I feel supported there as well."
“My experience thus far has been extremely positive. From the time of my enrollment, professors are always making students aware of the dangers of imposter syndrome. My program had a virtual gathering to discuss the [mental state of students within the program], and though I have never used the resource myself, Carolina is constantly making students aware of the Counseling and Psychological Services programs. So, I feel supported there as well.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #24

"The solution (to racial discrimination and/or bias) is to accept that this place is not home and will not be home, nor do I want it to be home. And that’s okay. The perpetual foreigner stereotype that is racialized for Asians is something I accept and has helped me see that I am a foreigner in this town in many different senses. I have come to embrace this. The battle of making this place home is not one I want to fight, and this mental shift is liberating."
“The solution (to racial discrimination and/or bias) is to accept that this place is not home and will not be home, nor do I want it to be home. And that’s okay.

The perpetual foreigner stereotype that is racialized for Asians is something I accept and has helped me see that I am a foreigner in this town in many different senses. I have come to embrace this. The battle of making this place home is not one I want to fight, and this mental shift is liberating.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #25

"The [Initiative for Minority Excellence] gave me a sense of community and family. When racial injustices happened in society or even on campus, I had a place to go to where I could be around folks who deeply understood and FELT my emotions. I got to be myself there. I got to bring all of me as a Black woman to the space unapologetically and without shrinking my feelings or mannerisms. I didn’t have to watch my words so carefully or work on my Southern accent. I got to talk about my religious beliefs and food and music and movies and family without feeling like I was teaching people how to see me as human. I saw a space for myself at UNC-Chapel Hill in ways I didn’t see during my first semester when I was isolated in my department. So, when I think of my experiences of Carolina, I think of IME, and that’s nothing but love. "
“The [Initiative for Minority Excellence] gave me a sense of community and family. When racial injustices happened in society or even on campus, I had a place to go to where I could be around folks who deeply understood and FELT my emotions. I got to be myself there. I got to bring all of me as a Black woman to the space unapologetically and without shrinking my feelings or mannerisms. I didn’t have to watch my words so carefully or work on my Southern accent. I got to talk about my religious beliefs and food and music and movies and family without feeling like I was teaching people how to see me as human.

I saw a space for myself at UNC-Chapel Hill in ways I didn’t see during my first semester when I was isolated in my department. So, when I think of my experiences of Carolina, I think of IME, and that’s nothing but love.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #26

"In my department and program in terms of building a sense of community, I didn’t feel supported. Even when I tried to bring it up at a town hall meeting, I felt the anxiety return as both grad students and faculty remained silent and did not respond to my own challenges of feeling part of their community."
“In my department and program in terms of building a sense of community, I didn’t feel supported.

Even when I tried to bring it up at a town hall meeting, I felt the anxiety return as both grad students and faculty remained silent and did not respond to my own challenges of feeling part of their community.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #27

"I have been supported by my advisors, my department, programs I’m involved with, and among the network of friends I’ve made at UNC-Chapel Hill. I am supported with the ability to choose my own educational and growth path, taking part in workshops, conferences, and seminars, attending networking and peer-to-peer events, and with food to keep me going strong!"
“I have been supported by my advisors, my department, programs I’m involved with, and among the network of friends I’ve made at UNC-Chapel Hill. I am supported with the ability to choose my own educational and growth path, taking part in workshops, conferences, and seminars, attending networking and peer-to-peer events, and with food to keep me going strong!”
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Surviving #28

"Graduate school can be a lonely journey. I started at UNC-Chapel Hill and shortly after we were in the middle of the pandemic, forcing us all to lose connection with people. I lost connection to my cohort, lab mates, advisor, and groups outside my department. For a while I felt lost. But I recognize the effort of different departments in the University (such as Diversity and Student Success) that have worked to keep us going."
“Graduate school can be a lonely journey. I started at UNC-Chapel Hill and shortly after we were in the middle of the pandemic, forcing us all to lose connection with people. I lost connection to my cohort, lab mates, advisor, and groups outside my department.

For a while I felt lost. But I recognize the effort of different departments in the University (such as Diversity and Student Success) that have worked to keep us going.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #29

"I truly appreciate the diverse population of my cohorts. I understand [the] Gillings Asian, Asian American, and Pacific Islander Support Pod along with the Carolina Grad Student F1RSTS group for supporting me throughout my first year of graduate school. Most of my friends are first generation students and we really connected through our experiences as a first-gen."
“I truly appreciate the diverse population of my cohorts. I understand [the] Gillings Asian, Asian American, and Pacific Islander Support Pod along with the Carolina Grad Student F1RSTS group for supporting me throughout my first year of graduate school.

Most of my friends are first generation students and we really connected through our experiences as a first-gen.”
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Thriving #30

"There have been a lot of ups and downs in my experience in graduate school. It’s hard to classify the whole experience as negative when the Initiative for Minority Excellence gave me such great, life-long friendships that made grad school worth attending alone."
“There have been a lot of ups and downs in my experience in graduate school. It’s hard to classify the whole experience as negative when the Initiative for Minority Excellence gave me such great, life-long friendships that made grad school worth attending alone.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #31

"Prior to returning for my Ph.D., I gained several years of experience working in my field of study, eventually reaching the highest level of job title/responsibilities achievable with a master’s degree. Upon entry into my program, I was the only person required to do a second master’s [degree] because they “didn’t know who trained me.” I was also told to take only intro-level coursework since I had been out of school for a while to “get used to things.” However, I later discovered that the other first-year students were taking advanced courses. I was the only Black person, the only person not taking the same courses as everyone else, and people in the cohort were directly asking me why I wasn’t in their classes. I stood out like a sore thumb. I began avoiding campus because I felt like I did not belong."
“Prior to returning for my Ph.D., I gained several years of experience working in my field of study, eventually reaching the highest level of job title/responsibilities achievable with a master’s degree.

Upon entry into my program, I was the only person required to do a second master’s [degree] because they “didn’t know who trained me.” I was also told to take only intro-level coursework since I had been out of school for a while to “get used to things.” However, I later discovered that the other first-year students were taking advanced courses.

I was the only Black person, the only person not taking the same courses as everyone else, and people in the cohort were directly asking me why I wasn’t in their classes. I stood out like a sore thumb. I began avoiding campus because I felt like I did not belong.”
Share your reactions or comments

Thriving #32

"As for the university at large, I have felt support in many ways from Diversity and Student Success, CAPS, and The Learning Center."
“As for the university at large, I have felt support in many ways from Diversity and Student Success, CAPS, and The Learning Center.”
Share your reactions or comments

Surviving #33

"I am an older graduate student in a different life phase (married with children), and I definitely feel that dynamic playing out in my interactions with my cohort. I lend my personal experiences as a Black woman, so I speak a great deal during class meetings. The atmosphere is often tense. I have had a white classmate ‘explain’ racism and oppression to me, as if my own definition was somehow lacking. My personal favorite microaggression has been the weaponization of white tears when I refused to give an in-depth analysis of a concept from class."
“I am an older graduate student in a different life phase (married with children), and I definitely feel that dynamic playing out in my interactions with my cohort. I lend my personal experiences as a Black woman, so I speak a great deal during class meetings. The atmosphere is often tense.

I have had a white classmate ‘explain’ racism and oppression to me, as if my own definition was somehow lacking. My personal favorite microaggression has been the weaponization of white tears when I refused to give an in-depth analysis of a concept from class.”
Share your reactions or comments